Long Walk Back
It was cold outside. Not just chilly, but the type of cold that makes testicles retreat to more ovary-like positions within the body. That is a troubling type of weather. Unfortunately for me there were a few errands of the utmost importance that needed to be run: get a new license and figure out what was going on with my unemployment. The new license should’ve been very simple but apparently I’m old enough to need a new picture so no luck in just renewing online. The unemployment issue wasn’t as simple since the whole fiscal cliff fiasco cut people off. Now there was red tape to deal with.
There was just over a mile of cold windy sidewalks separating myself from the unemployment office so I bundled up and made the trek. The tight waiting area was jam packed with people so I did my best to breathe as little as possible while enduring the endless wait. If I was to get the flu this season, today was most likely the day that would happen. Luckily for me my situation was resolved quite painlessly and I was on my way. As I was bundling up, a security guard approached me:
SECURITY GUARD: Sir, you can probably get away with driving around on an expired license for a few more days.
ME: Not likely. Is the green line ready?
GUARD: Not yet. We’re having some trouble
adapting it to the cold.
ME: Then we’ll have to go out on
GUARD: Sir, the temperature’s dropping too
ME: That’s right. And I can’t afford to keep driving on an expired license.
GUARD: Your Tauntaun’ll freeze before you
reach the first marker.
ME: Then I’ll see you in hell!
Okay, maybe it wasn’t an actual conversation. With just some slight tweaking, this Empire Strikes Back dialogue was quite fitting for the circumstances. It was insanely cold and the green line wasn’t running. The Tauntaun part, well, maybe that’s not as obvious. In my opinion, Tauntauns could easily be used as slang for balls. When you think of it that way then it totally makes sense. Even the hell part isn’t overly dramatic. If you think of some non-life-threatening places around here that conjure up images of hell I’m fairly certain the RMV is on your list and unfortunately for me that was where I needed to be.
It was a little under a mile from the unemployment office to the RMV and I figured I could make it with my Tauntauns intact if I put a little hustle in my step. A quick stop at Starbucks helped warm things up too.
My timing at the RMV was pretty awful and I paid for it. Arriving just before lunch probably isn’t the best idea. My ticket boldly proclaimed that I’d only have to wait three minutes, which basically meant it lied to me every time I looked at it. When the three minute wait approached a half hour, I finally had my turn up at the counter. I wasn’t too pleased to see that they didn’t have any sanitary wipes for the eye test machine. It’s like they’re begging for me to get the flu. The clerk handed me a bottle of hand sanitizer and I slathered some on the equipment. That’s how I roll.
Temporary paper license in hand, I was on my way home. Well, first there was a quick stop to have lunch with my lovely wife. That steak bomb from D’Angelo’s wasn’t going to work itself off so I opted to walk the frigid two miles home. I had been lazy over the last couple of days so I owed it to myself to get some activity in. I think four miles worth of walking in Hoth-like conditions is good activity.
Speaking of activity, I didn’t have time to hit the pool so I got on the treadmill to test out the wheels before my meeting that evening. I did a run/walk combo for two miles and got up to as fast as 8 min pace. It took me 18:55 to complete the two miles and I was happy to say that I mostly ran it. There was probably about 1/3 of a mile worth of walking out of the two miles I logged.
Afterwards I did some lunges, clam shells, and hamstring bridges. For the heck of it I threw in some push ups and was pleasantly surprised at my stamina. I hadn’t done any in longer than I can remember but still banged out 51 in one set without any crazy effort. It’s amazing what all that aqua jogging will do for your upper body strength.